The worst moments in our lives....are we ever really over them?
Think back to what you consider the worst thing that has ever happened to you? Do you remember how you felt? More importantly, do you know how it affected you? How did it change you?
Physical pain is often forgotten. Of course you remember that it hurt and that it made you wince and cry out in agony, but the actual memory of the pain is minimal. This is kind of trauma that doesn't mess with your head.
Mental agony, I think, stays with you forever. It fades over time, but all it takes is a trigger to bring it all back, as if it happened yesterday. This is the kind of pain that stays with you forever.
And how does tragedy shape our future? I think everyone can agree that the past is what brought you to where you are. Everything that has happened to you has made you into the person you are today. Cliche, yes. But it's true. I think this is why all time travel movies warn the character not to change anything. Messing with your past does nothing but bad things for your future.
Anyway, I've been giving it some thought lately, scattered thought at least. It's hard to gauge what 'could have been' without knowing 'what could have been'. Does that make any sense? I guess I wonder how different one's life could be if a certain tragedy had never happened. And to what degree does it change the course of our lives.
I don't really know what I'm getting at, it was more or less just a thought. I'd like to think that when something bad happens, it hurts, you grieve (for however long needed) and then you grow from it. We never necessarily let go of what happened, but we get over it, in the best cases. I don't want to forget what has happened, and I hope that it makes me better in the future.
I posed this question to a friend, and his response was:
"My belief is that the past, present and future are like this....events in our life, are what create our beliefs about us and the world around us. Thus our beliefs affect what we "choose" for our present, and those "choices" create our future. So, as in the event of being hurt in a relationship, we create a belief. If I love, I can be hurt, and I don't want to hurt again, so the we put up walls. Therefore, our future has less love in it. Every event, tragic or not shapes what we believe. What we believe shapes what choose, and what we choose, unveils our future."
He is a very wise friend. =)
So, what do you take from tragedy? Take the thoughts, the experience, the love and the pain and turn it into something better.
~Bean
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